I’d like to preface this post by saying that I truly feel in my heart of hearts that nearly everyone is trying to do their best at all times. People are incredibly kind and good. We all have men in our lives who have done impossible things for our benefit.
I think about my grandfather. His nickname was “B” …short for baby.
He was the youngest in a sibling rich blended family. So yeah-he was confident and spoiled rotten. I think of him working into his 80’s so he could create opportunities for his family. He had a precision aerospace machine shop and he was hopeful that he could make a good living for his many grandchildren and great grandchildren by apprenticing them. I remember when my grandmother’s dementia kicked into high gear. She was unkind to those she love the most and that was her beloved husband “B” & myself. This happens often to the demented patient’s caregivers whom they’re the most bonded to…but it doesn’t make it any easier. “B” was so damned in love with her that none of this mattered. He just woke up every morning helped her out of bed helped her with food and medicine and hygiene with a constant love stricken grin directly below his nose. Because this is what men do.
After she passed away, he continued his daily visits to her gravesite for years. He would bring her flowers and sit on the plot of land and have a nice little conversation with her. As his own health declined in subsequent years-he refused any treatment claiming it might slow his much anticipated reunion with his beautiful bride.
After a severe stroke- he could no longer talk or walk…but he found a way to crawl from his bedroom to his back porch door and howl like an animal begging to get to his beloved wife’s gravesite for his daily visit. Shortly before his death he grabbed my hand firmly and loudly uttered “raw raw raw.” For those who don’t have the secret stroke decoder ring-that means “i love u.” Because that’s what men say.
So please believe me when I tell you that I am a lifelong fan of MEN.
That said-3% of their population consists of a hurtful and murderous contingent. These animals walk around in men’s likenesses only to take. They are the worst kind of thief and they’re not opposed to taking everything including life. It is the duty of all women to screen every man with whom they intend to share time. Social stalking, criminal background checks, credit checks, any and all due diligence is fair game.
You have probably heard many wonderful things about Australia and I will tell you that they’re all true. This is a very special place on earth but even a place with so much economic prosperity, devoid of guns and just generally inhabited by well behaved human beings sees one woman murdered by her partner every day. This just has to stop.
Besides screening-there are a couple of other things that will make a big difference-firstly and most importantly-you have a civic duty to report any crime that befalls you. It doesn’t matter how embarrassed you are it doesn’t matter how hurt or frightened you are…none of that matters. You need to timely report criminals. You owe that duty of care to your fellow women. If we start doing this-we can know the evil ones by their cv.
I have coined a word that could be used like a branding and understood by other women as shorthand. Let’s say you had the good sense to call it off when things started to get weird (TRUST your 6th sense-its the silent sum total of the more popular 5) & you have nothing to report-but you know that you were in the company of a bad human being. Let’s refer to them as #ManPosters (evil doers dressed in the skin of men. Imposter men.)
Don’t waste time with, or put yourself in harm’s way with a #manposter. Trust that quiet sense that’s whispering in your ear.